Win the Ex Back Without Playing Head Games
When you have been dumped, there are any number of theories about how to win ex back. Most of them involve playing head games with your ex. But, when you mess with her head just to win her back, you are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up. This article is the no-games way to win ex back.
When you were going out, she would text you two dozen times a day. Now your phone is silent. While you don’t want to overdo it, calling her once a week or so just to “keep in touch” keeps the door open for a reconciliation.
To this end, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday. Sending a card or a small gift wouldn’t hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.
Keep in touch by email. If there is a news story she might enjoy – whether it is about poverty in Africa or a profile of Shane West – send it to her with a nice (short) note. You can also start a email list where you send out information, jokes, or personal updates to a group of friends and make sure she is on the responder list.
You also have to decide whether you want to want to date other girls during the period when you are trying to win ex back. If you are serious that you are going to win ex back, you won’t date other girls. If you are even thinking about getting back together, do not sleep with another woman. This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous. But playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.
Don’t be jealous when she dates other guys though. She called it off, remember, so she’s not cheating when she sees men. You can use the information about what she looks for in a man when you analyze the kind of men she’s dating.
For instance, if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship, she may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet. If you were the beer and football type and she’s now dating artists and poets, you may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back.
When you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you, you will be able to see what she really needs in a man. Remember, that now that you are no longer a couple, there are layers being built up between the two of you. In some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a man because your own emotions, feelings, and needs are less at play. Read into the things she says and the things she doesn’t say. Look at her actions as well.
Hold your own cards close to your chest. The power in your relationship has shifted. When you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex, you give her too much power. If you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life, she suddenly can dictate the future. When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.
During the time when you are broken up, work on yourself. Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good. Get a hair cut too and even consider a new style. Also, work on your mind as well as your body. By spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.
The bottom line is that you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship had. When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished win ex back.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Get Over Break Ups & Steps of Recovery
Get Over Break Ups & Steps of Recovery
Are you getting over break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to see the other person one minute and want to kill them the next? That is all par for the course when you are getting over break up.
Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has diet, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over break up. One woman whose first husband died and second husband divorced her said that it was actually easier getting over the death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce. That is because there’s societal support when someone dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over break up on your own.
The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. That is because you are going to light a candle and burn the letter over the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the road to emotional recovery.
Next, you need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you probably have some stuff of his at your place and he’s got your things at his. You probably want much of this stuff back and he or she is equally eager to get theirs. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.
If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom because it will only remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over break up.
It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.
There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a checking account together, work out how you are going to divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.
What you should be seeing is a pattern of closing out the parts of your lives that you shared. This is essential to getting over break up.
After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time. You may even want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or even a given church “belong” to one party or the other during this month long period.
After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again. This is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need in order to go about getting over break up.
Are you getting over break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to see the other person one minute and want to kill them the next? That is all par for the course when you are getting over break up.
Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has diet, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over break up. One woman whose first husband died and second husband divorced her said that it was actually easier getting over the death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce. That is because there’s societal support when someone dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over break up on your own.
The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. That is because you are going to light a candle and burn the letter over the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the road to emotional recovery.
Next, you need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you probably have some stuff of his at your place and he’s got your things at his. You probably want much of this stuff back and he or she is equally eager to get theirs. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.
If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom because it will only remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over break up.
It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.
There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a checking account together, work out how you are going to divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.
What you should be seeing is a pattern of closing out the parts of your lives that you shared. This is essential to getting over break up.
After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time. You may even want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or even a given church “belong” to one party or the other during this month long period.
After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again. This is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need in order to go about getting over break up.
Friday, April 10, 2009
When Love Still Exists How You Can Win The Ex Back
When Love Still Exists How You Can Win The Ex Back
Do you want to win the ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back.
First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.
And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.
When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.
After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.
If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.
Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.
In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.
When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.
From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.
Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.
Do you want to win the ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back.
First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.
And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.
When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.
After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.
If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.
Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.
In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.
When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.
From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.
Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Want Ex Back and Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back
Want Ex Back and Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back
You are home after a date with yet another guy. It didn’t go well. You find yourself saying I want ex back.
After a break up, you may move on to other people. But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?
There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.
First, clear your energy from other people. Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex. For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him. If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.
Next, keep your dignity. Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him. Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well. Don’t be a doormat. You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best. Hold your head high. You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.
Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them. Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.
Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together. Meet new people. By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work. Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch. If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating. Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.
Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script. Map out with your partner where you want to go. When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.
When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios. Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.
You are home after a date with yet another guy. It didn’t go well. You find yourself saying I want ex back.
After a break up, you may move on to other people. But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?
There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.
First, clear your energy from other people. Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex. For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him. If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.
Next, keep your dignity. Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him. Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well. Don’t be a doormat. You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best. Hold your head high. You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.
Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them. Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.
Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together. Meet new people. By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work. Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch. If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating. Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.
Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script. Map out with your partner where you want to go. When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.
When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios. Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
How to Win Love Back Using Common Sense
How to Win Love Back Using Common Sense
How to win love back is a topic that I want to talk about today. Too many people do this all wrong. They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to know how to win love back, follow the advice in this article as closely as possible.
The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex.
Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s. They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home. They send flowers and gifts.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes. When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you. She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too. She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.
And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play. This is not the answer to how to win love back.
Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.
When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her. If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl. By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you. You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.
It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends. Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something. Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?” That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.
Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you should be happy.
Girls like to date happy guys. If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.
Go work out at the gym. Hang with your buddies. Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.
This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.
And, that is advice for how to win love back.
How to win love back is a topic that I want to talk about today. Too many people do this all wrong. They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to know how to win love back, follow the advice in this article as closely as possible.
The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex.
Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s. They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home. They send flowers and gifts.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes. When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you. She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too. She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.
And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play. This is not the answer to how to win love back.
Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.
When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her. If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl. By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you. You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.
It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends. Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something. Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?” That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.
Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you should be happy.
Girls like to date happy guys. If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.
Go work out at the gym. Hang with your buddies. Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.
This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.
And, that is advice for how to win love back.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Lost Love Knowing Every Relationship Has a Time Line
I Lost Love Knowing Every Relationship Has a Time Line
When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.
I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.
In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.
But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.
Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.
But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.
I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.
I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.
I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.
When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.
I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.
In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.
But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.
Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.
But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.
I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.
I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.
I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.
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